The Ultimate Solution!

I've started to get so bored with coming to this message board and reading nothing but thread after thread of pointless complaining and in-fighting. I've therefore taken it upon myself to find a solution to the whole big mess. It's a plan of several stages, and I think it caters for every complaint so far.

Stage 1 - Ratings

First, we remove the ratings system. We then have a level playing field where no one piece of work is seen to be better than another. Three month's worth of skinning can stand side-by-side with little 3 year old Timmy's MS Paint drawing of Puddles the cat.

Stage 2 - Download Counts

Second, we remove the public visibility of download counts. This removes any form of competition on the site, and prevents only those works which have already been downloaded 100,000 times from being looked at by Joe Public. In turn this would mean the removal of the 'Top Downloads' and 'Top Artists' counts. Let everyone sift through the endless pages of random crap to find the gems. Everyone should be made to work for their treats.

Stage 3 - Creation/Update Dates

Third, remove the display of the creation and update dates. Who cares if those two year old skins only support a tiny selection of current features? Everything is equal, so let's just mix everything up into a random multitude of pages full of random skins. Of course, this would remove the 'New Additions' display too, but I'm sure it won't be too difficult to find the new stuff.

Stage 4 - Author Names

Fourth, it's time to remove those author names. It should just be part of the fun to guess who made a skin. We don't want someone's reputation to influence Joe Public into downloading their latest. Of course, there wouldn't be much point in having author profiles anymore. Who cares about the people, when it should all be about the skins?

Stage 5 - Comments

Fifth, remove the ability to comment on a skin. Does it really matter what these people think anyway? It stops them from being mean, which just harms a skin's chance of getting on to the Top Downloads. Oh, wait... we already got rid of those anyway...

Stage 6 - Screen Shots

Sixth, we remove the ability to upload a screenshot of a skin. This prevents people from showing someone else's wallpaper and icons without having their permission, and adds yet another fun random element to the download process. It also saves on bandwidth.

Stage 7 - Names

Seventh, we remove the ability to name a skin. From now on, all skins will be given a number. Random of course, to prevent any idea of creation sequence. This will also prevent the use of someone else's name which they were saving up to use for their next skin.

Stage 8 - Sorting

Eighth, we remove the sorting and dividing of skins into pages. It takes too long to go through page after page of skins, and you always end up with those skins which are unfairly placed right on the last page. Just put them all on one page. That's what scrollbars were invented for.

Stage 9 - Site Sections

Ninth, remove all of the sections and merge them into one. This will prevent any ideas of favouritism toward particular types of works. Of course, we won't display any indicator of what an individual work is either. That would just be asking for trouble.

Stage 10 - Message Board

Tenth, remove the message board entirely. There's bound to be someone who disagrees with the way this plan has been going, and we don't want to hear them complaining anymore.

There now... that should fix it. I'm sure you'll all agree, and we can get started on the changes immediately. If anyone has any complaints or suggestions, please don't leave them. We'll be turning off the message board in a couple of minutes anyway, so you'll only be wasting your breath.


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