dharmagrl dharmagrl

What's the skinny with anorexic-looking chicks?

What's the skinny with anorexic-looking chicks?

Why are we starving ourselves?

Ok, Smartaz made a comment earlier about Renee Zellweger being a little on the lean side. I agreed, and it led me thinking about other painfully skinny women in the media.

Lara Flynn Boyle immediately comes to mind, as do Courtney Cox Arquette, Jennifer Aniston, Calista 'I turn sideways and disappear' Flockhart (although she has gained a few lbs recently), Debra Messing (pre-pregnancy)...I know there are more, I just can't think of them right now!

So, what's the deal? I think they all look better a little bigger. Look at Jennifer at the start of 'Friends', the first series, compared to what she looks like now. She had breasts back then, not the flat sacks vainly trying to resemble boobs she has now.

What do men find so attractive about anorexic-looking women? I don't get it.

I've been on both ends of the scale - I've been heavy/chubby at 160lbs, (which, on my 5'2" frame looked a bit bigger) and at my lightest I was 104lbs. At 160 I had a 36 D bust and hips that'd knock you over if I accidentally brushed into you - and at 104 I had 32 B boobs and hips bony enough to hurt you with. I thought I looked better heavier. Even recently, when I dropped 25 lbs and went down to 108, I disliked the way I looked and pushed myself to get up to my current 115. I LIKE having a chest, a waist, hips...a shape...and so do most other women I talk to (guys too).

So why, then, do these women feel the need to starve themselves to be a perfect size 0? We're told that 'Hollywood' puts pressure on these women to be thin to the point of emaciation, but who in Hollywood is doing this? And why?

I realize too that personal preference plays a huge factor here. Some guys prefer women to be big, some chunky, some slender...but no-one I've spoken to finds the likes of Lara Flynn attractive in the least. If someone reading this does, would you please explain to me what the attraction is? Actually, will you (guys and girls both) leave me your thoughts on what size women are attractive? We'll take a little poll to see what JoeUser's opinion is..
22,151 views 47 replies
Reply #26 Top
I have NO idea what the conversions are - pre pregnancy I fluctuated between 54kg & 56kg, while pregnant I only weighed myself once (it wasn't something my doctor cared about) and I was 70.5 at 8months pregnant. Post pregnancy I went down to 50kg and now 6months later I think I might be at a normal 54kg again.

Size wise I have no idea what a 0, 2, 4 is - but the smallest size we have is an 8 in women's then you're into adolescent girls which I think goes up to 14 but is smaller then a women's 8.
Pre pregnancy I was a 10. During I was a 12 and post I can't fit an 8.

I'm 5 foot 3 (165cm) and I bought a bra the other day at a clearence sale which was a (14D) 36D but I'm a 10D (32?d)
(which is EXTREMELY hard to find without paying through the nose.

I don't diet - but I only usually eat dinner regularly - and the only exercise I get is runnng around after my 6month old and walking around the mall (walking to the mall & back)

I think Christina Ricci (opposite of sex, casper) is a fantastic role model for omen. I Loved Renae in Empire Records she's wasn't a waif.
and Kate Hudson -- she got fat dring her pregnancy and was proud of it -- and didn't go on an excessive crash diet exercise or liposuction to make herself perfect again.

That's great!!!
Reply #27 Top
I have NO idea what the conversions are - pre pregnancy I fluctuated between 54kg & 56kg, while pregnant I only weighed myself once (it wasn't something my doctor cared about) and I was 70.5 at 8months pregnant. Post pregnancy I went down to 50kg and now 6months later I think I might be at a normal 54kg again.

Size wise I have no idea what a 0, 2, 4 is - but the smallest size we have is an 8 in women's then you're into adolescent girls which I think goes up to 14 but is smaller then a women's 8.
Pre pregnancy I was a 10. During I was a 12 and post I can't fit an 8.

I'm 5 foot 3 (165cm) and I bought a bra the other day at a clearence sale which was a (14D) 36D but I'm a 10D (32?d)
(which is EXTREMELY hard to find without paying through the nose.

I don't diet - but I only usually eat dinner regularly - and the only exercise I get is runnng around after my 6month old and walking around the mall (walking to the mall & back)

I think Christina Ricci (opposite of sex, casper) is a fantastic role model for women. I Loved Renae in Empire Records she wasn't a waif.
And Toni Collette.

and Kate Hudson -- she got fat dring her pregnancy and was proud of it -- and didn't go on an excessive crash diet exercise or liposuction to make herself perfect again.

That's great!!!

Celebrities who look like real women -average women with average bodies and no surgery, enhancements- I love photos of celebrity mums out with their kids no makeup and look like they're child has kept them up all night because of xyz.. -- it's reality.
Reply #28 Top
oh gee - I just googled 50kg & 56kg (both of which is light in comparison to average - most of my thin friends are in the 60's and tallish) in pounds - 110.23 and 123.45 pounds

and yet Dharma's 160 - translates to 72kg JUST above average in Australia. Which makes me wonder what the average and below average sizes are if 160pounds is heavy/chubby and I was that when I was pregnant -- and I was ALL baby I put on no weight anywhere but belly ask anyone.

What is a size 0?? -- I thought 6 sounded small.
Reply #29 Top
The "average" female weight is about 144 pounds.  Of course, a tall person at 144 will be slimmer than a short person at the same weight.   The average pant size is a 14, so a 0 is very small.
Reply #30 Top
I've never had an eating disorder, nor will I ever. I can't help being slim. Love the way you people like to label us, 'skinny', 'bony', 'disgusting'.


I know that Outraged probably won't even read this, but I'll put in my two cents anyway. There is a big difference between people who are naturally thin and those that starve themselves. Those that are naturally thin look eactly that - natural. There's none of the gaunt cheeks and sunken eyes going on. When you make yourself thinner than you are supposed to be (meaning where your body is comfortable) you look unhealthy. My best friend is 5'11'' and weighs about 120 pounds. Which for her height is almost nothing. But she looks healthy. Another friend of mine is the same height and used to weigh about 150 pounds. She has dieted her arse off (literally) to get down to 120 and has never looked worse. It's one of those things. And we should all be happy with our diversity of shape. My naturally skinny friend would love my boobs whereas I'd love her arse. The grass is always greener.

I've suffered from anorexia nervosa myself, and I think it's about a lot more than just appearance or weight, For me it was about control, it was a way for me to feel in control of something, when everything in my life was going crazy.


Spot on Dylan. Me too. Mine started initially because I 'thought I was fat' but became an excellent focus for me when I didn't want to look at all the other things in my life. It's a horrible disorder which really does become your whole world. But at the same time, I think it may have saved me from doing something worse, so it may have been a lesser of two evils.

But as for what's attractive? It's whatever you find attractive. I don't like really muscly men. Some men don't like curves. Others don't like bones. As JD said, it has a lot more to do with personality. We've all had the misfortune of meeting those incredibly beautiful people who are really very ugly. So pretty, but not very nice. (There are also many beautiful people who are also lovely, and you therefore WANT to hate them, but you can't!). But you know what, the only important thing is that people who love you find you attractive for so many different reasons apart from your appearance. As Christina said 'I am beautiful in every single way' (can't believe I just quoted her!)
Reply #31 Top
A-Ha! But what about all those men who put on a few pounds after marriage? Some of the other posters were right. America has a different standard for men than for women in regards to weight. A fat man is cuddly...a fat woman is just plain "gross".
Reply #32 Top
I struggled with my weight growing up and now, I just gave up, I figure what's the point of getting all worried about being a small size. When I was younger, it mattered to me. I was always worried about whether or not I was too chubby, or if I was too skinny. And so there comes the saying, I eat because I'm unhappy and I'm unhappy because I eat. While I was worried about being too chubby, my subconcious was telling me "Emma Leigh, food is your friend, when no one else is." and so there I was with my food. And then I realized what I was doing and tried to stop eating so much but it was hard. And that got me started on allowing myself to eat, but then I'd force myself to throw up. That's when I made it down to a size 0 and then I couldn't stop throwing up after eating. Finally I had to get help. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't worry about your weight. There is nothing wrong with a little bit of chub.

Emma Leigh
Reply #33 Top
What is a size 0?? -- I thought 6 sounded small.


size 6 IS small--my wife is a size 6, and everyone comments on how "petite" she is.
Reply #34 Top

I'm now a size 6/7 depending on the brand, and I get comments about being 'petite' as well.  I can't imagine being a size 0.  The smalles I've ever been is a 3, and I was painfully thin then.....that was when Lonesome came home on leave and made me eat because he said I scared him.


I enjoy being a little bigger, to be honest.

Reply #35 Top
Randi you sound exaclty like my sister. Down to the tiniest detail....height, weight(roughly), AND name. I think she is beautiful and I think you should feel the same way too!!!!!
Reply #36 Top
I am 5'6". I weighed 118 before I had my first baby, and I was way too thin! I weigh about 125 now and I like it. I want to work out more and develope a little bit of muscle. Since muscle weighs more than fat, I wouldn't be surprised if I get up to 130, but that's okay, because I will be healthy and fit! That's my goal.
Reply #37 Top
My weight FLUCTUATES between 110-125, all year round. I am 5'3", with a large frame. I do not think what you weigh matters, as long as you are in your healthy guidelines, and most of your weight isn't in your abdomen (heart attack and diabetes risk). I never diet. I eat what I want, when I want. If my belly growls I do not ignore it, when you have to pee do you hold off as long as possible??? NO! Your body is giving you a signal, something needs to be done. If you are obese- try light exercise and cut out sugar drinks, drink water. This one simple change will shed your water weight guaranteed. AS far as all these super skinny women. BLAH! Its ugly and disgusting, a little meat looks good on your bones.
Reply #38 Top
I'm 5'2" and 125 pounds, size 4. I've never tried to diet or anything but last year I naturally lost about 10-15 pounds which I think is just my new stable body weight. I think I looked fine then just as much as now - I kept my DD chest which I LOVE! The girls I'm attracted to though are usually a little bigger than me - a little bit taller, maybe 5'4" or 5'5", and probably about 130-150 pounds, with nice curvy tits and ass. That's what I think is the sexiest look.
Reply #39 Top
What I dislike is when larger or average women feel as though they have the right to call someone skinny or anorexic or disgusting without knowing whether or not the person was born that way or whatever. I myself am 5'1 and 105. I look great with a nice shape, yet larger or thicker women still feel like they have the right to say what they want, and the things said are hurtful. It seems to me that larger people find it okay to call a skinny or slimmer person names, but if someone were to say to them "Wow, my refrigerator is skinnier than you", that would be considered and insult and they would get defensive. Why do we care about whether a person is fat or skinny. How about just worrying about yourself and being healthy. If you don't like to look at someone who is skinny or someone who is fat...than don't. I think people need to take a good look at themselves before saying something about someone else.
Reply #40 Top
Wow! Talk about an article with a long shelf life! Good job, dharmagrl!
Reply #41 Top
you, all of YOU HAVE NO PROBLEMS WITH ESTING DESORDER, I HAVE BEEN WITH THIS ANOREXIA FOR THE PAST 5 MONTHS AND I SAY IS GREAT!! BECAUSE I CA BE MYSELF AND CAN CONTROLL EVERYTHING I HAVE POWER OVER MY BODY AND ME AND THAT'S SOMETHING MANNY OF YOU WILL NEVER HAVE , EVER TRY TO GOOOGLE "PRO ANA" AND ENTER ONE OF THE WEB SITES THET SUPPORT THIS MOVEMENT , AFTER YOU HAVE READ EVERYTHING YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ME!
Reply #42 Top
Reply #41 By: marry (Anonymous) - 12/3/2004 3:50:09 PM
you, all of YOU HAVE NO PROBLEMS WITH ESTING DESORDER, I HAVE BEEN WITH THIS ANOREXIA FOR THE PAST 5 MONTHS AND I SAY IS GREAT!! BECAUSE I CA BE MYSELF AND CAN CONTROLL EVERYTHING I HAVE POWER OVER MY BODY AND ME AND THAT'S SOMETHING MANNY OF YOU WILL NEVER HAVE , EVER TRY TO GOOOGLE "PRO ANA" AND ENTER ONE OF THE WEB SITES THET SUPPORT THIS MOVEMENT , AFTER YOU HAVE READ EVERYTHING YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ME!


I think you need help. I wish there was something I could do, but I have no idea who you are. All I can say is, I'm pretty sure that you're feeling the same way every other anorexic person feels while they still have the disorder. You really should talk to someone.

As for this other discussion about being skinny, I know you all were a little outraged at what Outraged posted, but I can sort of understand what she was saying. See, these posts mostly say that you think really skinny women are ugly. I know you're trying to draw a difference between anorexics and people who are naturally skinny, but I know you can't do that when you first see a person. I'm naturally very skinny. I'm 5'8" and my weight tends to fluctuate between 115 and 120. It is a little rough to hear you all saying that super skinny people are ugly, but luckily I'm probably the most un-shallow person you will ever meet, so I don't really care.

I agree that starving yourself to look skinny is bad, but do realize that it can be hurtfuul to some to say that skinny is ugly.
Reply #43 Top
I am 19, and have had an eating disorder since I was about 14, it's hard to pin down on a date, and I just wanted to say you guys make me sick. I feel horrible about myself, not fat. For me, it's not about the weight. Sure, I strive to look a certain way and to be a certain way, but deep down I know that when I get there, I will still not be happy, and it kills me. I am living in a hell that I wish I could leave, but at the same time I'm not ready to give it up. The pro-ana web site give me a bad name and image. I don't want anyone else to have to suffer from this and I don't believe in the ana creed. This is a mental disease that has physical implications and when people try to stereotype me it makes me feel worse. You need to know that just by telling me to go eat, or to gain some weight is not going to fix anything. I don't do this for anyone else, to make anyone else think I am attractive, this is all about me and I can't stand the way men talk about a woman's body as if she doesn't matter.
Reply #44 Top
Nels23 - I am sorry that you are living in a hell. I think the point of this conversation has more to do with the fact that some of the skinnier movie and TV stars might give young girls the wrong impression: that being skinny is the only "right" way to be. Not true! What most women want is to be happy with themselves, whether they are underweight or overweight or anywhere in between. It is often true that we bring much of our own discomfort on ourselves when we buy into the idea that there is a "perfect" body type and that it is acheivable by everyone. It would be much better if we could all look past the exterior to see inside, but sadly we can't always do that. Perhaps that's why blogging is so attractive: we write down our ideas and no one can see or judge what we look like on the other side of the keyboard. In any event, I hope you get help and find a way to be happy with yourself.  
Reply #45 Top
Anorexia and bulemia are about control, not weight.

As far as women's self images, here comes Mr. Acerbic *sigh*. I'm not responsible for your self-image because I like a particular body shape. Statements like:

What do men find so attractive about anorexic-looking women?


are stereotypeing. I don't find anything attractive about anorexic-looking women, Dharma. I never have. I've never even met anyone who is attracted to anorexic-looking women.

I further infer from your statements that you believe that somehow men who like thin women are in part responsible for the women that go down Anorexia Street. I could make an argument that women are just as guilty (if not more so) of making other women feel not so beautiful, but it's irrelevant. You're all ultimately responsible for how you feel about yourselves, and you all pay the consequences for whatever misguided actions you take if you choose to shirk that responsibility.

Not to ring my own bell, but if you have an eating disorder, here's something that may be insightful, or it may not. It costs nothing to read in any event.

Ism.
Reply #46 Top
I don't like super skinny girls like that. I like a little bit of meat on a girl, but I prefer a skinny girl to a chubby one. I am pretty skinny and athletic myself, and I would like a girl who is the same.
Reply #47 Top
"I've been on both ends of the scale - I've been heavy/chubby at 160lbs, (which, on my 5'2" frame looked a bit bigger) and at my lightest I was 104lbs. At 160 I had a 36 D bust and hips that'd knock you over if I accidentally brushed into you - and at 104 I had 32 B boobs and hips bony enough to hurt you with. I thought I looked better heavier. Even recently, when I dropped 25 lbs and went down to 108, I disliked the way I looked and pushed myself to get up to my current 115. I LIKE having a chest, a waist, hips...a shape...and so do most other women I talk to (guys too)."

It is the obsession to be different then you are that the media and hollywood and your internal psychology drive you to metric physical appearance. Unfortunately people don't do nearly as much internal, How am I feeling, what's causing my feelings today? Type metrics as they do for the physical. As soon as you can let go of your obsession of looks, you can feel like a kid again. I'm not just saying you I'm say of men, women, and people in general.

It's so much more fun to be a kid that person you are inside, then the person you feel you are on the outside. That Billy Joel song, "I like you just the way you are" he got it right.